Guest Post: Edward L. Fairley

I was conversing with a young lady a few days ago and she was determined to share with me how horribly her boyfriend treated her. She grew frustrated that I didn’t allow her to share or replay the past memories/scenes in this so-called horrible movie that she was starring in.

So I asked her a question. The question was if the relationship was such a terrible one, why wouldn’t she remove herself from it? Her reply unfortunately was very common compared to all of the other people that I’ve ever asked this question. She looked at me without even thinking; then as if she had studied from the same text book as the other people I’ve asked this question, she replied because I don’t want to be alone.

I replied with another question. If you don’t like being with yourself, how do you expect others to want to be with you? She had a light bulb moment and replied, “I never thought about it like that”. My response to her was, “when you LIKE and LOVE yourself enough to ENJOY being ALONE, this is when and only when, you are ready to be in a relationship”.

If you feel that you need the presence of someone else in order to be happy, this means that you are unhappy with yourself and need to work on your self-esteem. If you don’t know what it takes to make yourself happy, how do you know what to look for in a potential mate?

Edward L. Fairley, author Increasing Your Relationship IQ
edwardfairley.com