On book reading and schedules.
To say that I’ve had a lot of time to ponder why this year has been so off, is an understatement. In fact, that’s what I do with most of my free time. Trying to figure out how I went from a ravenous reader to someone who couldn’t focus on a book for longer than 20 minutes at a time has become my full time job. I kept trying to remind myself that I have been reading 150+ books for years now. That eventually everyone moves away from certain things in favor of other things. Still I felt uncomfortable because if I’m not a bookworm, who am I? That’s literally been my existence forever.
Now that the end of the year is approaching, and I’ve started to cut myself some slack, I find that my reading bug is actually coming back. Maybe not in full force, but is that such a bad thing? If I only read 20 books, or 50 books, in a year am I less of a bookworm? I know the answer to that is no, and that makes me feel so much better. It also makes me want to read more…. which is hilarious. We all need to give ourselves some space to be off this year, I think. Whether we’ve registered it or not, we’ve all been through trauma and this is all a normal reponse.
That being said, working from home all these months has also proven to me that I need structure. I used to read on my train commute. I used to read 20 minutes before bed. Now I don’t commute, and my bedtime is whenever I feel exhausted enough to fall into bed. So I started putting myself on a loose schedule. I started making lists. I bought a beautiful journal to use as a bullet journal in 2021. And you know what? It’s working! I feel motivated again.
If you’ve made it in my rambles this far, tell me about your coping skills. Have you had an odd year too? Have you been trying to be more or less organized? Is it helping? Let’s see how the next few months go, shall we?
2 Comments
Literary Feline
Yes! Everything you’ve said. Yes. My reading is off this year as well; my focus shot. This has been a very traumatic experience for all of us–the degrees may vary, but it’s still affecting everyone somehow. I hadn’t really thought about the loss of structure being a contributing factor to my reading less, but that’s a good point–and true for me too. I used to spend my lunch break reading at work, and while I still do that on my one day every other week in the office, the rest of the days, working from home, I am helping my daughter with schoolwork or doing something around the house. I never listen to audio books anymore. Not that I did to any big degree before, but at least I could during my short commute to work or while cleaning house. I’m never alone now. I put something on, and I’m interrupted. I try reading before bed, but I’m only half successful. I do want things to be different this coming year. I need to find a better balance.
This past week I did some major organizing and rearranging around the house and it helped me feel a bit more on track. I don’t keep a bullet journal, but I did get pick out a 2021 planner that I intend to use to help put some structure back into my life. I’ve been trying to add reading back in at lunch break and I’m making a point to read before bed, even if just a little. I’d forgotten how calming it can be. It’s not perfect, but hopefully I can find my focus again.
Jessica N.
I think you are and I are both on the right track! I’m wishing you all the good reading vibes for the new year!